In April, during Lockdown Mark One, I got very excited about going to Tesco.
I tried and tried to get a delivery slot, but COULD NOT. So I braved the store.
And spent a fortune.
Week on week, I ventured out, mainly alone, to hunt and to gather. I bought food, obviously, but I also became carried away with mustard and grey scatter cushions, and bought lots of those too.
They were on offer.
Every week.
And they were essential.
During one of my early, exciting Tesco missions, I thought I would save money by raiding the reduced aisle. There, I purchased yoghurts, cheeses, juices, meats and all kinds of wondrous delicatesseny offerings. I was pleased with myself. My haul was impressive.
But I warn you to be wary of shopping this way. Why might Muller G&T yoghurts be reduced to 65p for six? Why indeed.
Yesterday Lockdown Mark Two began. And yesterday, the last eight Muller G&T yoghurts were poured down the sink, curd and all, and their colourful pots placed dejectedly in the recycling bin.
I had kept those bad boys for seven months, convincing myself I’d eat them one day, and that they were not, in fact, rotten at all. I even took a few on holiday to Devon with me. Then duly brought them home again.
Why? You may well ask.
I think the only answer I can give you is that I am, in fact, a little bit deranged. I hate waste – true. And these yoghurts could have served as a meal – for me at least, when I was on one of my Yoghurt and Cereal Days. I have those sometimes, when I am feeling all healthy and virtuous. (To be fair, I haven’t actually had a Yoghurt and Cereal Day for nigh on thirteen years, as the Special K Diet nearly killed me. But I did lose a few pounds, and have held on to the notion that I can always revert to it in times of need.
Hasn’t happened.)
So, the Muller G&T delights sat in my fridge, curiously not actually rotting (worrying really!) for all that time, and even though I told the children to try them, and sampled a couple myself, yesterday morning, there were still eight left.
I had a big mental block about chucking them away. I am not sure why. Yes, waste was definitely a factor. And I also didn’t want to admit defeat. But they were taking up space in my fridge, so finally, they went to yoghurt heaven.
Worryingly though, I think that sentimentality actually played a part in the yoghurts’ reign. Back in April, we had just embarked on home schooling. The weather was different. Exams had been cancelled. Some people were still here. Things were different.
A lot has now changed.
My success in clearing the fridge of inedible desserts was a small personal Bonfire Night victory for me. But it also represented the fact that Lockdown Mark One was over – now a memory. Because depressingly, on the very same day of my refrigerator purge, Lockdown Mark Two began.
Yes, here we go again. And I can’t help but wonder what mental idiosyncrasies this one will generate in me. Maybe the scatter cushion thing will get out of control. Will I start hoarding tank tops? Or stockpiling toilet roll?
Oh, hang on. That’s normal, apparently.
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