SATs are looming for Mini Seymour. I know, I can’t believe it either! Surely she is still only three? But no, it seems she has some grown-up assessments coming soon, and I will declare right here that she is by no means ready. Therein lies the first part of the Read more
I hate technology! Hate it, hate it, hate it. But what I hate more than technology is the CONFLICT that technology generates. Or at least, the conflict that it generates within my family. Maybe everybody else in all the other families in the world has it sussed. My children have Read more
Yesterday, Little Seymour Number One went to work. She gleefully accepted the last-minute opportunity to go down to a local pub, and wash up for four hours. She came home with a fist full of notes, and collapsed in a heap on the table. Boy Seymour is lying to anyone Read more
Dear Number One, I would like to apologise to you. I have behaved badly, and, now that I have had time to think about it, I think I can put my apology down into words. Here goes… You are fifteen. You are the one who should be wracked with insecurities. Read more
Boy Seymour is a git and a twunt and a maniac. He’s annoying and puerile and totally f@cking infuriating. He shouts and rants and raves. He throws stuff. He fibs. That is on a bad day. On a good day, however, Boy Seymour is charming and helpful. He is courteous Read more
Poor Little Seymour Number Two. Yes, she’s Number Two, so … The only piece of brand new school uniform she’s had this year, as she ventures off into the world of secondary school, is a pleated skirt, of vaguely the right colour, purchased from a cheap online auction site, and Read more
The Buggers have returneth to ye old place of education, the place from which both dreams and nightmares are born and where you will, whether you like it or not, have “the best years of your life!”. (Probably – let’s face it – simply because school-goers are too young to Read more
I’ve waited for ages for my teenager to love reading, and now she’s stealing my books!