After the excitement of THE STAINED GLASS WINDOW, things have fallen a little bit flat here at The Funny Little Bungalow. Progress has been slow in comparison, not helped by the fact that Big Seymour has been off working elsewhere.
Having said that, we do have banisters in the making, providing hope that one day soon, the stairwell won’t be quite the death trap it currently is.
Oh, and there’s a floor in the en-suite. No longer can you see the Bakelite tiles down in the utility room from through the joists.
The arrival of the floor in the en-suite meant that we had to then decide what exactly is going in there. It’s not large enough to be a wet room – I don’t really understand the concept of those anyway. But neither, it appears, is it large enough to have a shower with a door that opens any wider than about 45mm.
45 mm! When you actually measure that, I am sure my own less-than-ample boobs won’t even fit through.
Of course, as it turns out, you can have showers with no door at all. Who knew! But after some pondering, we shunned that idea for much the same reason that a wet room seems like complete idiocy – we would be forever wiping up puddles.
The pondering continued. We considered asymmetrical shower trays, two doors, one door, and the no-door option. We tried to assess where we’d stand in the shower – this involved a lot of imagination on my part, for the room is way off being ready.
Then came the mock-up of the toilet with a crate and two pieces of Celotex, followed by a trial “sitting”, whereupon the merits of a certain toilet height were appreciated, and then an aeon was spent considering just how close we should put the shower tray next to the toilet bowl. Just how much space do you need when you are on the bog? It’s not something I have often considered.
My head hurt.
I have since been up to the pretendy toilet and looked at things afresh. I feel strongly that an 800mm tray will result in elbow banging and claustrophobia during visits to the W.C. I passed that information on to Big Seymour, only to discover that he has gone ahead and ordered the big shower tray already.
Only time will tell if this is a mistake.
As for the banisters, they are now waiting for their snazzy, modern bits of toughened glass that we had planned to install instead of spindles. But I was informed this morning that such a concept is not allowed. Glass isn’t permitted in the banister department.
This chap was quite adamant, because his parents had been asked to remove stair glass from their very own home. When he was a kid. In the SEVENTIES.
I suspect – and hope – that this chap is out-dated in his remonstrations re banisters. Glass, I hope, has moved on in its design since then. In much the same way that computers have, and hairstyles. And building regs.
But I am now slightly worried. Is it wise to have great glass panels at the top of our stairs? If Boy Seymour has the capacity to ride windows through the air (see https://www.fourlittleseymours.co.uk/on-the-edge/if you need a reminder) then maybe we are asking for trouble… I know he’s nearly nine, but he’s still a buffoon. Possibly we need a re-think.
But knowing Big Seymour, it’ll do no good. He’s probably ordered the glass already, as is his wont. He’s not hanging about – something tells me he might be trying to get this project finished!
Wouldn’t that be nice!
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