I don’t think Big Seymour has ever taken so long to finish a bathroom in his life. This is, in part, due to those twunting hexagonal tiles we chose, and which took him a million years to arrange, cut, stick and grout.
Oh, and the grouting isn’t even finished yet.
The additional delays have been attributed to me choosing the wrong bath tub in the first place, tiles falling off the walls post-application and the general business of us using up what we have strewn around the gaff rather than actually going out and buying it, like normal people do. Finding just the right bit of timber to make the bath frame, and the correct slab of granite for over the cistern is tricky when your supplies are other people’s cast-offs.
But this is how we roll! And we love a bit of recycling. But there is one fixture for which Big Seymour did not want to make do, and that was the bathroom cabinet.
Bathroom cabinet choices are varied and diverse. Wooden? Metal? Bakelite?
Whereas we made do in our last family bathroom with a freebie, Big Seymour has since discovered the delights of mirrored cabinets – thus killing two birds with one stone. As have I. In fact, we simply cannot understand why anyone would not have a mirrored bathroom cabinet, unless, of course, they have such an enormous bathroom that they’ve wall space for a mirror, too.
However, when Big Seymour announced that not only was he looking for a cabinet with mirrored doors, multiple shelves and a no-touch illuminated feature, he added in a little caveat that, whilst I was searching the internet for such a thing, it also needed to have… wait for it…. Bluetooth.
Yes, it appears that bathroom cabinets have now evolved so that they can link up to your mobile phone, and play show tunes at you whilst you shave your legs.
It’s fun. It’s a little odd… but I guess it’s useful. I wonder, though, will this be a step too far, like curved televisions, green mascara and 3D films? Will our bathroom Bluetooth speakers gather dust on the top of the cabinet? And how the heck will we fix it if it goes wrong? The thing is screwed to the wall.
In conclusion, our family bathroom is not yet finished, but it does have a disco facility, for which I am grateful. When there is a toilet in there too, I’ll be able to multi-task and sing along to the songs I have to learn for The Sound of Music – my upcoming debut into the world of amateur dramatics. Did I mention? I’m Nun Number Twelve, and the lyrics are no mean feat!
So I may be forever grateful to the singing bathroom cabinet, for if it can get its voice round ancient religious Latin chants, then so must I.
Amen.
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