There is boot polish in the bread bin. There are Christmas cards in the biscuit tin. There’s a patio set on the rubble pile, and there is an infinte number of additional boxes, packages and parcels squirrelled into every available Read more
Shuffle, creak, thud. Down the ladder he came, the wrong way: a man on a mission. Yes, Boy Seymour was so adamant that my birthday on Sunday would be “a good day” that he took it upon himself to get Read more
I’m very sad. Mini Seymour has just wriggled and gurned her way through her last nativity show. She may be my smallest Seymour, but she’s getting big now. The Nativity Extravaganza this year was very current. There were hashtags and Read more
Dearest Ali and Nicky, Your calendars are already on their way. Love you. If anyone else would like one, please click the link below; http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/192750765874 Your calendar will be entitled “Especially for Friends of The Four Little Seymours”. (Just message Read more
Something weird has happened. I appear to have created some actual “Four Little Seymours” merchandise. It was accidental, and happened when I stumbled across a calendar deal online. “Ooooh,” thought I. “I wonder if I can whip up a calendar Read more
Little Seymour Number One is confused. It’s not the Year Ten Maths and its quadratic equations that are doing it. Nor the Chemistry homework she was recently set. On this occasion, it is something far less obvious and it has Read more
I had a delivery yesterday. A man rang me to say that he was at the Ostentatious Gates. He had a something for us. High Definition, he said. Brighton Road. You what? said I. I have a delivery for High Read more
No. Not on The Tiles. I never go out. Well, rarely. Boo hoo. This post is on actual tiles. Yesterday, Big Seymour telephoned me during the day. This always makes me nervous. Will he want me to “pop” to Screwfix? Read more
FFS. My last post proved controversial. I was accused of ingratitude, and the wanton bandying of the DIYSOS principles. I would like to set the record straight. I consider myself lucky. I have four delightful little buggers who I would Read more
Well that’s it. Bloody typical. I am not impressed. In fact, dare I say it, I am extremely angry. Not only are The Four Little Seymours constantly getting at each other to the point of ridiculum, arguing over the sodding Read more