It has been a funny week chez Seymour. In fact, it’s been a funny few months, really. I think the upshot of it all is that maybe, the Living On Top Of Each Other thing might just have started to grate on us all.
For example, I like to think I am a relatively private person. I try to conduct my ablutions with discretion and no small amount of mystique. After all, I wouldn’t want people to think that I have actually tried hard to create my current look. It is better that any efforts I make to groom myself remain a secret, because by the time I make it off the premises, those efforts are negated by child-wrestling, obstacle avoiding and the inevitable stress of losing one’s keys. (This happens a lot.)
But when one’s teenage daughter starts to look at you with those condescending eyes, it means she is at the stage where I am an embarrassment to her, and I realise that shed life may just have accelerated that process.
There is nowhere to hide! If I happen to forget to put night-clothes on, when she climbs down the ladder in the morning, she sees my bum. If I fall asleep on my bed at nine o’clock whilst she is still up and looking at cool people on Instagram, then the contrast between those beauties and her mother dribbling into her pillow is cruelly apparent.
The other day, she told me my bottom was like a potato. A potato? There was a time when people admired my arse. And not so long ago, either, I’ll have you know. But now, it is clearly more akin to a root vegetable than any thing fruity that grows on trees, because my Number One child has decreed it.
Charming.
The Shed remains our home however, and for a while, too, I think. We are not quite on the home straight yet. And, whilst my self-esteem may be suffering, I am actually very impressed with the way that The Four Little Seymours are coping with our strange lifestyle. It’s a higgledy piggledy way to live, and this current weather makes it all the more hard, because the heat and its accompanying biting insect population do not make pleasant housemates.
In fact, is it wrong, but I am really hoping for some rain…
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